Where do I begin.
Mom of 3 little kids decides being home, cleaning up, changing diapers, finding shoes, preparing meals, bathing, organizing, and forever cleaning up crumbs and toys is not enough work and decides to also work from home.
Okay, let me start over. I had prayed for an opportunity to present itself. Some way that I could legitimately help our family. A way that wasn’t just talking people into a product and signing people up under me. Something that was actually good and substantial. I won’t name the company, but I found it. It was the answer to my prayers without a doubt. We were able to move off of our busy corner street house into a quiet neighborhood. My husband who has a 3 hour commute daily was able to get a new reliable car, another prayer answered. We are able to pay for our son to go to a preschool that is amazing at preparing him for Kindergarten, another prayer answered.
So, here I am 7 months in with this new business that has helped us tremendously (Thanks to God). My house is unorganized and always a mess. My time and effort is spent more on this business than the home we live in all week long. I’m burnt out. I want to be present again. I’m always checked out. The problem is, I can’t quit.. we now need it. We didn’t realized how far we were falling behind before. Sometimes I wonder if my efforts are worth it. If our priorities and what’s important to us is in order.
I guess this is all part of being an adult and parent. We always question ourselves. We wonder if we are failing until one day. We will look at our grown children and see all we have done. Look at our lives and see how far we have come. Forgetting the troubles we once had. Seeing the complete picture of what God has done and not even knowing how we got to where we are. Giving Him all the glory for this bigger picture.
That is what keeps me moving forward. Knowing that God’s plan is greater than I am.
Things are not how I envisioned and it’s far from perfect. I struggle with my desire to help provide and my desire to be the best mother and wife I can be. The days are challenging but also filled with joy.
Above all else I just ask God to allow me to do His work right where I am. No matter where I am. I’ve heard that it’s not right to make your religious views known, that it’s a business and to keep it neutral. I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I want to speak of His name everyday in every conversation not because I’m trying hard but because I need Him more than I need anything else. I need His guidance and direction. I need His comfort. I need His love and acceptance more than anything else! With out Him, I am nothing. Period.
Working from home has been much more work than I intended. The amount of time I spend chatting with others like myself without making a dime is huge. I am just one person trying to run a business while home with children. I can’t turn away when someone needs to chat. God loves them. Yet, I can’t run my business with all these hold ups either. The struggle is real people.
Again, I know His plan is bigger than mine. I know everything is in Him timing. Time to take a deep breath and keep moving.