“Oh I hope it’s another girl” my husband and I would say. We wanted another girl but of course it doesn’t matter either way. We already have a sweet lively toddler girl and a courageously imaginative little boy. She has been so much easier than he was, so obviously we were leaning toward wanting another girl. Maybe it’s the first born verse the second born or maybe it’s just their personalities. We immediately thought girl and stuck with it.
A glimpse into my mind the last few months: If it’s a girl, I can reuse everything I still have from our last girl! I already gave everything away from our son. If it’s a girl, they can share a room and I can make it even cutesier! Yay! If it’s girl, I can do this! If it’s a girl, I can do that! Oh, look at all the cute DIY girl stuff on Pinterest! Oh, I hope it’s a girl! Girl, girl,girl!
We asked our 4 year old what he thought and of course he thought I had a “baby brother” in my belly. Without a doubt our little boy kept saying it was a boy and he never hesitated to say it was NOT a girl. We just thought he would be happy no matter what. We could both picture our family, boy, girl, girl. Yeah, we just know it, that’s how it’s supposed to be! But, don’t you know only God knows? God knows, and He knows what’s best!
Our gender ultrasound was last week, the doctor asked what we thought we were having. We told her. She zoomed into baby’s bottom side and froze the screen, then she asked again “so what did big brother want again?” I squealed! IT’s A BOY! I can see it! I was so overcome with joy! Not even one shred of disappointment! The doctor told our silly son it was a boy, and he replied, “Yeah, I know that already”.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” -Proverbs 16:9
He knows the steps we will take before we take them. He makes things possible. I may think I know, but He always shows up to show me what is really right for me. Most answered prayers turn out different and better than I could have ever imagined.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
You see, the Lord knew the desire that was in my heart. Truly, my heart’s desire is to just have a healthy baby. Any gender preferences were purely selfish and worldly, it wasn’t the true desire of my heart. I am in awe of how He humbles our selfish hearts in such a gracious and loving way. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”- James 4:10 And let me tell you, He has lifted me up! I am the complete opposite of disappointed that I was wrong. I am so incredibly blessed to have another son on the way!